	Bob Hostetler > Writing

Children And Lesser Gods

by Bob Hostetler

Not long ago, Brett Hershey came home with a friend from his basketball team. A Muslim friend.

Brett and his parents are Christians. They attend an evangelical Christian church. They live in a small Midwestern community. And they are surrounded by kids who are involved in non-Christian religions and the "new" spiritualities such as eastern mysticism, the New Age movement, and others.

How would you react if your child came home with a Muslim neighbor, a Buddhist schoolmate, or a friend who is dabbling in the New Age movement? How should you react? What should you do when your child is exposed to other faiths at school or in the neighborhood?

No Fear

Your first response should be to exercise restraint. Proverbs 17:27 (NLT) says, "A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered." Youth pastor Mike Erre puts it another way. "Don't overreact," he says. "I've seen some parents push their kids toward a non-Christian spirituality by overreacting at the first sign of interest."

So don't give in to fear. After all, "God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline" (2 Tim. 1:7, NLT). Besides, parents who respond with fear and panic may raise suspicion and even heighten children's curiosity. Their children may wonder what Mom and Dad are hiding; they may be intrigued to find out more about something that elicits such a severe reaction.

Be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19, NIV). "Gather more information," suggests David G., who strayed from the Christian faith to dabble in eastern mysticism as a teenager. "Find out specifics. Learn as much as possible about what your child is thinking." So, he suggests, if your child has been exposed to a non-Christian religion, find out as much as you can about your child and the nature of his or her exposure to (and interest in) that religion. Seek to understand what is really going on. Ask yourself, "What does my child find interesting about it? Is he or she trying to meet a need or fill a void of some kind?" If parents approach their children from that perspective, they may be more likely to engage their children in helpful, healthy ways.

Measured Exposure

"Protecting your kids from the 'new' spiritualities is not like protecting them from a hot stove," explains Charles Strohmer, international lecturer and author of The Gospel and the New Spirituality. "They can stay away from a hot stove, but they can't stay away from ideas." He cautions parents against thinking they can isolate--or even insulate--their kids from exposure to non-Christian religions and dangerous philosophies.

Instead, we must truly and diligently "instruct the ignorant and teach children the ways of God" (Romans 2:20). But the goal is "not isolation, [nor] insulation, it's more like immunization," Erre says. "The effective parents I've seen don't shelter their kids or keep them insulated from the culture, they carefully expose them to the culture in a way that teaches the kids to discern between biblical and nonbiblical ideas, between what is harmless and what is dangerous." Erre calls this process "measured exposure."

In other words, he says, "we can immunize kids by making sure they're exposed to unfamiliar ideas in a safe environment where Mom and Dad can provide boundaries and guidance and help them evaluate other religions in the light of the Gospel (2 Corinthians 4:4). One way to do that is to make our homes comfortable for them to bring their friends home, even non-Christian friends, because then parents can help kids understand and evaluate what the other kids think and believe."

For example, Brett Hershey's father, a campus director for Campus Crusade for Christ, not only accepted his son's Muslim friend, he sat down with him and began asking questions about Islam, while Brett watched and listened. After probing his son's friend about his faith, he asked for permission to explain what Christians believe. His approach not only exposed Brett to Islam in a safe way that helped him evaluate his friend's faith, but also provided an opportunity for the friend to hear about Christ.

Critical Thinking

Another crucial biblical skill is teaching our children to be "reasonable people" who are equipped to think for themselves (1 Corinthians 10:15). While many Christian parents try to raise their children to readily believe and accept what their teacher, church, or denomination says, "children who are raised to think and question and doubt," says Ruth Tucker, author of Another Gospel: Cults and the New Age Movement, "tend to be safer [from the appeal of non-Christian religions and cults] than those who more easily accept what they're told." If parents discourage children from asking questions or expressing doubt, they are hindering rather than helping that child's ability to evaluate other religions in the light of the Gospel. Parents who teach their children to evaluate what they see, hear, and read using critical thinking skills are more likely to strengthen the child's faith against other religions.

For example, television shows, movies, songs, billboards, and textbooks (as well as encounters with unfamiliar religious traditions) offer frequent attempts to walk children through a discerning process using several simple questions:

What is the message really saying?" (Understand)
How does that message compare with the teaching of Scripture and the revelation of God in Christ?" (Evaluate)
Does my evaluation require me to accept or reject the message?" (Respond)

The above questions are certainly not exhaustive; Dr. Paul Martin, in his book Cult-Proofing Your Kids,also suggests that parents expose their children to basic "critical thinking" concepts such as the law of non-contradiction (two contrary positions cannot be true, but both can be false) and the principle that "similar does not prove same" (the fallacy sometimes employed by cultic systems that because something is like something else it is identical, and should be accepted or dismissed on that basis).

At times, however, even a child who has seemingly been equipped in every possible way against the appeal of non-Christian religions may begin to express interest in one of the non-Christian religions or spiritualities. In such an event it is still important for parents to respond cautiously and sensitively. "Too often," Strohmer says, "parents try to suppress their child's curiosity instead of understanding it." It's better, he says, to "look for the truth that answers the lie. It's better to say, 'You're interested in reincarnation? Oh, well, that's probably because you're interested in the afterlife. Let's talk about that.' That way you're talking about what interests the child or the young person, instead of criticizing him or her."

Relational Focus

The most effective thing parents can do to protect their children from cults, other religions, and the new spiritualities is to help them "carefully build [themselves] up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God's love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ (Jude 1:20-21, Msg). "Get them so utterly involved and acquainted with Jesus Christ," Strohmer says, "that as they grow they are able to discern things that aren't like Christ. Then, if a friend talks about going to a spirit channeler, for example, a red flag will go up in the mind and heart of the kid who is in love with Jesus."

One way to deepen a child's faith in Christ is by encouraging supportive peer groups such as strong churches, youth groups, and Young Life chapters. But the most important vehicle for strengthening a child's relationship with Christ is a family in which love is freely communicated, honest expression is encouraged, and a transparent, vulnerable faith is modeled. No matter how pluralistic the dominant culture becomes, parents still have the greatest potential--if they exercise it--for influencing their own children and raising them "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4, KJV).

In today's increasingly pluralistic culture, Christian parents cannot expect to totally isolate or insulate their children from non-Christian religions and "alternative spiritualities." But they can prepare their children by responding calmly and sensitively to such influences, learning as much as possible about them, guiding their children's exposure to other religious beliefs and practices, teaching critical thinking skills, and encouraging their children to develop a strong, deep relationship with Jesus Christ.

Parents who take such steps are not only likely to strengthen their children's faith; they may also strengthen their own.

This article originally appeared in Moody Magazine and received the 1997 Higher Goals Award (Evangelical Press Association)